After divulging yesterday, on a blog for the whole world to read, that I aspire to be a writer I have had serious PPR’s (post party regrets). How presumptuous! What arrogance! What gives me the idea that anyONE wants to read anyTHING I have to say on any TOPIC? Yet, I remain firm in my commitment to this endeavor.
Actually, I am already a writer and have been for a very long time. The difference in the last few years is that I have come out of the closet. When Jim was stricken with cancer, I started my e-mailing from Houston to keep a few friends and family members apprised of his condition. Those letters were really outpourings of my innermost feelings as I searched for strength and direction from God. When I talked with the recipients of these e-mails I was astounded by their responses. I realized that God was using my talents to speak to others. Opening up, making myself vulnerable to the judgment of others was difficult for me but I received so much affirmation from the writing that I believed that God wanted me to do this. The writing was cathartic for me and it seemed to be a blessing for some who read it. The list grew and I continued to write about the many aspects of the cancer journey.
Now I feel that God wants me to do something more with this. I am still reticent about sharing my thoughts with others but I believe that God expects us to make judicious use of our gifts. How can we do that if we hide them under a bushel? A writer needs an audience as does a singer or a pianist. I have not been a very good steward of the gifts God has given me. I hope that I can set that aright in the time I have left.
I think it is awesome you are recognizing this gift. I think I shared when we received the emails from Houston that you should keep them in a journal. These snippets would make a wonderful book that would bless others, esp. spouses, who are experiencing the same/similar events. Let's them know they are not bad, it's ok to be tired, that what they are experiencing is norm for the situation. But most importantly God is always there with His arms lifting you up and holding you close. He is always faithful. I encourage you to be bold with this. Let God work through you!
ReplyDeleteLove, Carolyn B.
I just discovered your blog and have to tell you how impressed I am with your courage: courage to write, courage to share your innermost thoughts, courage to share the talents God has given to you. I am blessed to be a part of your discoveries as you begin yet another journey to figure out what you really want to be when you grow up!
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