Saturday, August 10, 2013

Survival Secrets for Caregivers


I have come to know many survivors and co-survivors (caregivers) over our eleven year journey with lung cancer. Those in both categories who survive well share certain qualities, the most important of which is resilience—the ability to recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune; buoyancy. Some lucky people have built in resilience from innate personality traits or learned belief systems. But what if you’re not one of them? Is it possible to develop resilience?

When applied to caregivers the word “survival” has a different meaning than for cancer patients. You are not in danger of dying from your loved one’s cancer. But like the patient, you can benefit emotionally and physically from building resilience during your family’s battle with cancer.

Five Steps to Greater Resilience

1. Release. Admit you are powerless. Let go of the past. Let go of guilt.

2. Reframe. Psychologists call this step restructuring your cognitions. Build positive emotions. Search for meaning in your suffering. Practice gratitude. Exercise “benefit finding”—the ability to find positive meaning in a traumatic life event.

3. Reprioritize. Often this happens with no effort on your part. Sometimes with the onset of catastrophic illness, your priorities automatically realign. Your circumstances offer you new look at what is important. Others need to make a conscious effort to regroup.

4. Reconnect—spiritually and relationally. This is the time to make friends with God. You’ve heard it said, “There are no atheists in foxholes.” Likewise, there are few atheists in oncology waiting rooms. Restore and strengthen family relationships. Strong support systems are crucial to recovery.

5. Recharge. Rest. Relax. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve and give vent to your very real emotions.

No comments:

Post a Comment