Caregivers occasionally need to vent without rousing the ire of the people who haven't walked in these shoes and therefore don't realize that the patient--however sick he might be--still has faults. For instance:
Jim is annoyingly "prompt." This coupled with his aversion to inconveniencing another human being can drive me crazy. When we come to Houston, we call ahead to have our Afghan friend Ferreydoon (Fred) pick us up at the airport. Fred is a paid driver. He is not doing us a favor--we pay him for his services. If we are to arrive at 3:30 Jim tells him to pick us up at 4:15 so that we don't keep him waiting. When we have a direct flight, with no problems, we arrive early--which means we end up waiting for 45 minutes. Since this has happened the last few times, I suggested that Jim tell him to be there at 3:45. When we got on the plane today in Memphis and it was apparent that we would be leaving on time, I suggest he call and change the pickup time. But no, being his stubborn Taurean self, he wouldn't budge. Better he wait in the 100 degree heat, fighting the side effects of chemo, than to have poor Fred sit in his airconditioned car for 15 minutes.
When we got to Houston--at 3 o'clock, Jim did call him to say we had arrived early but it was too late to change the pick-up time. I know what you are thinking--Jim is such a nice guy, so humble and thoughtful,--true, but there are times when it rankles.
We have had more arguments over the years--not because he wants to be prompt, but because he wants to be early! I like to be prompt ,too, but not early, because as you all know I hate to wait. Actually it's because I hate to waste time. As my children will attest, I'd rather squander money than time. I plan everything to the last minute (not always successfully) so that there aren't gaps of unproductive time. I am the consummate multi-tasker. I never go anywhere without a book, (in fact i've been known to read while I drive (well, only on the high way with light traffic and cruise control), I pray while I exercise, memorize scripture while I walk, and wait to make obligatory phone calls until I'm in the car. I only talk with friends while I make beds, unload the dishwasher, or dust. Scratch that--I gave up dusting a few years ago. I have dropped cordless phones into the washing machine, the toilet and the sink. Before cordless I fried several cords while cooking.
I even schedule my R & R. My daily "to do list" has time allotted for an occasional napping for watching my favorite TV shows ( and that I try to combine with eating). I actually thought my time stewardship was a virtue until the psychologist pointed out that I was driving the rest of the family crazy.
Before you come down on me too hard, let me say that I didn't press the issues with Jim. Just one "I told you so" as we waited in the sweltering heat for the car to arrive." But I didn't pick a fight--in his weakened condition it wouldn't really have been fair.
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