In 2002, two small words changed our lives. "It's cancer." In 2010, two small words changed our lives again. "cancer free"
I didn't realize how accustomed I had become to living under cancer's shadow, until the cloud lifted and the light returned. For seven years, we didn't plan anything without considering Jim's health status. We couldn't make short range plans because we weren't sure how he might feel. We couldn't make long range plans because we weren't sure he'd be alive.
Now that he is no longer in treatment we aren't bound to the chemo schedule or tethered to the infusion pump. We are back among the living!
And yet, some things remain the same. Thankfully. The cancer school room taught me that none of us--however healthy we might be--can know what the future holds. Life is short, health is fleeting, and this morning's sunrise might be our last.
Cancer may not be finished with us, but for today, it is gone. And that's enough. THIS is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Showing posts with label cancer free. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cancer free. Show all posts
Friday, March 5, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
A Modern Miracle
I don’t know what to say. After seven years of ups and downs, seven years of living with cancer and all that goes with it, Jim is cancer free. The giant has left the house.
In October the oncologist told us there was no sign of the cancer in the bone or the malignant pleural effusion that we have been treating since March of ’09. He called it a miracle saying that there was no medical explanation for the absence of the malignancies. But somehow I couldn’t grasp the magnificence of the news. This time it was different. I got it. I want to shout the good news from the rooftops and sing praises to His glory.
Dr. Rios is not quite sure where we will go from here. He has a “gut feeling” that what Jim needs now is rest and a rebuilding of his immune system. There are some new drugs designed for this very purpose that he wants to research. Jim’s body has taken a beating over the years from the aggressive, toxic chemotherapies, the radiotherapies, and the surgeries. He wants us to undergo some testing (can be done in Memphis) to determine the status of the immune system, assess the collateral damage that has been done, and build from there. He will let us know in a few weeks how to proceed. But NO MORE CHEMO, no more planning around treatments and scans—although I’m sure scans will still be part of our lives, I’m not worrying about it tonight.
There is more to the incredible story—people we met today and yesterday just starting down the road we’ve been traveling, the responses of our physicians, people who have read the book and been encouraged. I will have to write another book for those who don’t know how the story ends. Our cup is overflowing and I can’t wait to tell anyone who will listen about the faithful, loving God we serve.
“Now unto him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus through all ages, world without end. Amen.”
In October the oncologist told us there was no sign of the cancer in the bone or the malignant pleural effusion that we have been treating since March of ’09. He called it a miracle saying that there was no medical explanation for the absence of the malignancies. But somehow I couldn’t grasp the magnificence of the news. This time it was different. I got it. I want to shout the good news from the rooftops and sing praises to His glory.
Dr. Rios is not quite sure where we will go from here. He has a “gut feeling” that what Jim needs now is rest and a rebuilding of his immune system. There are some new drugs designed for this very purpose that he wants to research. Jim’s body has taken a beating over the years from the aggressive, toxic chemotherapies, the radiotherapies, and the surgeries. He wants us to undergo some testing (can be done in Memphis) to determine the status of the immune system, assess the collateral damage that has been done, and build from there. He will let us know in a few weeks how to proceed. But NO MORE CHEMO, no more planning around treatments and scans—although I’m sure scans will still be part of our lives, I’m not worrying about it tonight.
There is more to the incredible story—people we met today and yesterday just starting down the road we’ve been traveling, the responses of our physicians, people who have read the book and been encouraged. I will have to write another book for those who don’t know how the story ends. Our cup is overflowing and I can’t wait to tell anyone who will listen about the faithful, loving God we serve.
“Now unto him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus through all ages, world without end. Amen.”
Thursday, January 14, 2010
update on Jim
Just as well I didn't contact everyone sooner because the prayer requests have changed day by day for the past week. As you know Jim had chemo last Thursday. He also had an appointment with his oncologist at West Clinic the same day. Jim was concerned about a new development--a swelling and pain in his neck actually under the jaw. He has suffered with mouth sores since early summer resulting from one or another of the chemo drugs, but this was different. The Dr. told him that it was not a lymph node, which relieved us somewhat because that is always a fear. However the pain continued.
The chemo side-effects were as bad or maybe the worst yet. Certainly the duration was longer. He was in bed from Friday until Tuesday morning. On Tuesday, we made an appointment with our internist to see about the pain in the jaw area. Dr. Castellaw was quite concerned because the bone in the mouth was visible in 2 places. He then sent us to an ENT to determine whether this should be biopsied. In other words, he wanted to be sure it wasn't a metastasis or a new primary cancer.
The ENT said no biopsy necessary, once again relieving our minds, but not much help with the pain. She said the lump in the neck was a salivary gland, gave him a decadron shot which temporarily helped with inflammation, and made the pain more tolerable.
As the shot wore off the pain increased. Today he made an appointment with our trusted prosthodontist who recognized the severity of the problem and sent him immediately to the oral surgeon. By this time Jim was frustrated, frightened and in excruciating pain.
The oral surgeon confirmed that this is osteonecrosis (dead bone essentially) resulting from the Zometa Jim has taken monthly to treat the bone metastasis of the lung cancer. Osteonecrosis is very difficult to treat and there are several options but for us right now the most important consideration is treating the infection which is causing the pain.
Pray for:
1. relief from the pain (he is taking oxycodone).
2. healing from the infection (Augmentin)
3. that he will be able to eat soon
4. that he won't have to be under the care of an infectious disease specialist, hospitalized for IV antibiotics
We are grateful that the x-rays show the damage to in both areas of the jaw is less than expected, although if I understand it correctly, the Zometa has a long half-life ( stays in the system for years), continuing to do its good work and its bad. We are also thankful that his teeth aren't loose yet.
This is a very serious infection, doubly hard to treat because of the other chemotherapy drugs he is taking and his resulting compromised immune system. We will address the other problems later.
Under His wing,
cyndi
The chemo side-effects were as bad or maybe the worst yet. Certainly the duration was longer. He was in bed from Friday until Tuesday morning. On Tuesday, we made an appointment with our internist to see about the pain in the jaw area. Dr. Castellaw was quite concerned because the bone in the mouth was visible in 2 places. He then sent us to an ENT to determine whether this should be biopsied. In other words, he wanted to be sure it wasn't a metastasis or a new primary cancer.
The ENT said no biopsy necessary, once again relieving our minds, but not much help with the pain. She said the lump in the neck was a salivary gland, gave him a decadron shot which temporarily helped with inflammation, and made the pain more tolerable.
As the shot wore off the pain increased. Today he made an appointment with our trusted prosthodontist who recognized the severity of the problem and sent him immediately to the oral surgeon. By this time Jim was frustrated, frightened and in excruciating pain.
The oral surgeon confirmed that this is osteonecrosis (dead bone essentially) resulting from the Zometa Jim has taken monthly to treat the bone metastasis of the lung cancer. Osteonecrosis is very difficult to treat and there are several options but for us right now the most important consideration is treating the infection which is causing the pain.
Pray for:
1. relief from the pain (he is taking oxycodone).
2. healing from the infection (Augmentin)
3. that he will be able to eat soon
4. that he won't have to be under the care of an infectious disease specialist, hospitalized for IV antibiotics
We are grateful that the x-rays show the damage to in both areas of the jaw is less than expected, although if I understand it correctly, the Zometa has a long half-life ( stays in the system for years), continuing to do its good work and its bad. We are also thankful that his teeth aren't loose yet.
This is a very serious infection, doubly hard to treat because of the other chemotherapy drugs he is taking and his resulting compromised immune system. We will address the other problems later.
Under His wing,
cyndi
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Falling Down on the Job
I have been so wrapped up in my own activities that I have neglected the most important job I have--taking care of my husband. Seven years ago, when I jumped, or more accurately--fell--into that role, I approached it with a vengeance--monitoring, mothering, motivating, and micro-managing every aspect of his care and treatment. Not a morsel of food or medicine entered his mouth that was not researched and ratified by his vigilant sentinel. Like Mighty Manfred, Tom Terrific's ever faithful companion, I never left his side.
But as the years moved on, I resumed some of my normal activities and gradually began to shirk some of my responsibilities. This year I missed some of his chemo treatments (it's so blasted cold in there and they don't have wireless connection) and even missed a few doctor appointments. Ironically, as I became more absorbed in writing about the caregiving experience, I became less involved in the experience I was writing about. Then there was my return to the stage which took me away every night during dinner, leaving him to fend for himself. In my defense, he happily accepted my absence and enjoyed a month long diet of TCBY, Sonic Blasts, and DQ Blizzards. He even learned to give himself his daily injections because I was gone in the evening.
For four months, maybe longer, he has suffered from mouth sores and pain--common side effects of treatment. He asked each of his doctors and his dentist for solutions, but nothing helped. The problem has become increasingly severe. For six weeks he has complained about tooth and jaw pain severe enough to interfere with eating and to make him generally miserable.
Last week it occurred to me that maybe the culprit was Zometa the drug commonly given for bone mets. I reasoned that if Boniva and some of the osteoporosis drugs can cause damage to the jaw, Zometa might work in the same way, resulting in similar damage to the jaw. I even went so far as to suggest he might want to skip his next infusion of Zometa. BUT, I didn't take time to look it up because I was too busy with Christmas preparations.
Today, holiday over, company gone home, and me back at the computer, I checked the side-effects of Zometa. "Some Zometa side effects are potentially serious and should be reported to healthcare provider immediately, such as jaw or tooth problems!
Great. Had I done this weeks ago, I might have spared him needless suffering. I am so angry with myself. I don't know whether the damage can be rectified, but I am returning to my former watch-dog post. Jim may not like it but Brunhilde the nurse is back.
But as the years moved on, I resumed some of my normal activities and gradually began to shirk some of my responsibilities. This year I missed some of his chemo treatments (it's so blasted cold in there and they don't have wireless connection) and even missed a few doctor appointments. Ironically, as I became more absorbed in writing about the caregiving experience, I became less involved in the experience I was writing about. Then there was my return to the stage which took me away every night during dinner, leaving him to fend for himself. In my defense, he happily accepted my absence and enjoyed a month long diet of TCBY, Sonic Blasts, and DQ Blizzards. He even learned to give himself his daily injections because I was gone in the evening.
For four months, maybe longer, he has suffered from mouth sores and pain--common side effects of treatment. He asked each of his doctors and his dentist for solutions, but nothing helped. The problem has become increasingly severe. For six weeks he has complained about tooth and jaw pain severe enough to interfere with eating and to make him generally miserable.
Last week it occurred to me that maybe the culprit was Zometa the drug commonly given for bone mets. I reasoned that if Boniva and some of the osteoporosis drugs can cause damage to the jaw, Zometa might work in the same way, resulting in similar damage to the jaw. I even went so far as to suggest he might want to skip his next infusion of Zometa. BUT, I didn't take time to look it up because I was too busy with Christmas preparations.
Today, holiday over, company gone home, and me back at the computer, I checked the side-effects of Zometa. "Some Zometa side effects are potentially serious and should be reported to healthcare provider immediately, such as jaw or tooth problems!
Great. Had I done this weeks ago, I might have spared him needless suffering. I am so angry with myself. I don't know whether the damage can be rectified, but I am returning to my former watch-dog post. Jim may not like it but Brunhilde the nurse is back.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Cancer's Rocky Road
on Sunday morning Jim spoke with his oncologist who told him that the treatments will continue indefinitely. This news wasn't such a surprise to me (the realist) but it was a blow to Jim (the optimist).
Jim had sent an email several days earlier asking for the plan,explaining how difficult the recovery is becoming and hoping that next Monday's chemo would be his last. In fact, I had him temper his remarks slightly because he was adamant that he couldn't take it much longer.
Dr. Rios said that he will need 2 more sessions of the regimen he is on now prior to our Houston trip Feb 1 for scans. THEN it is POSSIBLE that the length of time between chemos will be increased BUT a modified form of the treatment (maintenance) will continue indefinitely.
We are grateful that the drugs have kept the cancer at bay and that he has responded to treatment but after being declared cancer free (with all that implies) further treatment is a bitter pill to swallow (literally).
Living with cancer is better than the alternative but believe me it is not easy. I have spoken with several group members in the past 2 weeks who are similarly discouraged at the prospect of the relentless side-effects that accompany the very treatments which are keeping them alive. Pray for encouragement for all of those traveling this path, and for patience and understanding for their caregivers.
As I pray for those who lost loved ones to cancer last December and those who have lost someone this year, I am so thankful to have Jim here still--even though we have to plan our celebrations around chemo.
Jim had sent an email several days earlier asking for the plan,explaining how difficult the recovery is becoming and hoping that next Monday's chemo would be his last. In fact, I had him temper his remarks slightly because he was adamant that he couldn't take it much longer.
Dr. Rios said that he will need 2 more sessions of the regimen he is on now prior to our Houston trip Feb 1 for scans. THEN it is POSSIBLE that the length of time between chemos will be increased BUT a modified form of the treatment (maintenance) will continue indefinitely.
We are grateful that the drugs have kept the cancer at bay and that he has responded to treatment but after being declared cancer free (with all that implies) further treatment is a bitter pill to swallow (literally).
Living with cancer is better than the alternative but believe me it is not easy. I have spoken with several group members in the past 2 weeks who are similarly discouraged at the prospect of the relentless side-effects that accompany the very treatments which are keeping them alive. Pray for encouragement for all of those traveling this path, and for patience and understanding for their caregivers.
As I pray for those who lost loved ones to cancer last December and those who have lost someone this year, I am so thankful to have Jim here still--even though we have to plan our celebrations around chemo.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
A Miracle
I know I haven't posted much lately. I have been swamped between getting my book ready for the publisher and taking care of Jim during this last round of chemo. But I had to share this good news with you who have been such faithful prayer warriors. Jim was diagnosed with Stage 3B lung cancer in November of 2002. We were told at the time that fewer than 10% with that diagnosis survive for 5 years.
After some grueling treatment and radiation, the lung cancer laid low but he was diagnosed in 2005 with prostate cancer. Surgery took care of that. Then in 2008 he had a recurrence of the lung cancer near the spine. In March of this year another recurrence to the bone and the pleural lining of the lung. More chemo.
That brings us up to last week when he went to Houston for scans following his eighth chemo treatment. This is what happened.
When Dr. rios came in he peeked around the door and said,"Where
is my champion?" Jim either didn't hear him or simply didn't get the
significance of his the question.
He entered the room smiling and said,"There are some things that
medicine can't explain. My friend George Foreman said that education is
the beginning of moving away from God. But I think that as we learn
more we realize that we don't know very much." He turned to Jim. "God is working through
you."
"I have no explanation for what has occurred but Dr. Stenoine and I
have gone over the scan results and there is NO cancer."
Jim and I sat there staring dumbly at him trying to absorb the news he
gave us. Finally Jim said,"do you mean it's completely gone?"
He started to cry and Dr. Rios left the room to give us time to enjoy
the moment.
When he came back in, I asked him,"So are you calling this a bona fide
miracle?"
" Depends on your definition , but according to mine, yes. I don't know
of any lung cancer patients who are cancer free after 7 years with
stage four disease and 2 recurrences. "
"What did you really expect to find today?" I asked.
"Well I would have expected further reduction in the tumor in the bone
but probably not in the lung."
Jim says he never expected to hear the words "cancer free" in this
lifetime. It truly is a miracle and evidence of God's healing power.
What a mighty God we serve. He is still in the miracle business.
After some grueling treatment and radiation, the lung cancer laid low but he was diagnosed in 2005 with prostate cancer. Surgery took care of that. Then in 2008 he had a recurrence of the lung cancer near the spine. In March of this year another recurrence to the bone and the pleural lining of the lung. More chemo.
That brings us up to last week when he went to Houston for scans following his eighth chemo treatment. This is what happened.
When Dr. rios came in he peeked around the door and said,"Where
is my champion?" Jim either didn't hear him or simply didn't get the
significance of his the question.
He entered the room smiling and said,"There are some things that
medicine can't explain. My friend George Foreman said that education is
the beginning of moving away from God. But I think that as we learn
more we realize that we don't know very much." He turned to Jim. "God is working through
you."
"I have no explanation for what has occurred but Dr. Stenoine and I
have gone over the scan results and there is NO cancer."
Jim and I sat there staring dumbly at him trying to absorb the news he
gave us. Finally Jim said,"do you mean it's completely gone?"
He started to cry and Dr. Rios left the room to give us time to enjoy
the moment.
When he came back in, I asked him,"So are you calling this a bona fide
miracle?"
" Depends on your definition , but according to mine, yes. I don't know
of any lung cancer patients who are cancer free after 7 years with
stage four disease and 2 recurrences. "
"What did you really expect to find today?" I asked.
"Well I would have expected further reduction in the tumor in the bone
but probably not in the lung."
Jim says he never expected to hear the words "cancer free" in this
lifetime. It truly is a miracle and evidence of God's healing power.
What a mighty God we serve. He is still in the miracle business.
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